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11Dec

common sense is overrated

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Dear Redskins fans,

We’re sorry to disappoint you, but the entire Clinton Portis-Jim Zorn issue that’s got your panties in a bunch? Yeah, it’s nothing. You’re not going to want to hear us, but that’s the truth.

How often has your boss pissed you off by doing something you didn’t agree with? It happens all the time in every workplace in America. The only reason this is newsworthy is because one of the parties involved failed to keep things in house. But really, that’s just Portis. He’s always been an emotional guy who says whatever is on his mind. Remember before the season started when quotes came out about Portis wishing he could run behind a better offensive line? Yeah, those comments were forgotten as soon as C.P. reeled off five-straight 120-yard performances.

This issue involving the team’s best offensive player and the rookie head coach is already dead and gone as far as those who work at Redskins Park are concerned. We had a chance to talk to Portis’ teammates Wednesday to gauge their reaction on all the drama and can tell you with 100 percent certainty that the rest of the locker room wasn’t even fazed by this.

“That’s just Clinton,” said center Casey Rabach, who’s been around the star running back long enough to know he marches to the beat of a different drum.

When asked for his thoughts on it all, defensive tackle Anthony Montgomery admitted that he and his wife jumped on the computer to see what all the fuss was about. They expected to hear all of this scandalous and juicy drama from Portis on the John Thompson Show, but were disappointed.

“My wife fell asleep while we were listening to it,” Montgomery admitted.

If this is a major issue that will surely rip apart an entire locker room, then why is Mama Montgomery dozing off? And why did Monty, who has to spend the majority of his time in this supposed hostile-work environment, turn it off before he even finished the entire interview? Because it was a bigger deal to the media members who need to sell newspapers or get hits on websites than it was to the people who actually reside at Redskins Park.

Two things get D.C. truly fired up – a quarterback controversy and a big-time scandal. Folks thought that Portis versus Zorn was surely going to fit in the later category, but this ain’t it. There was plenty of hype, but truth be told Portis versus Brian Mitchell was more exciting than this. At least those guys were going back and forth, letting each other have it. This was just one frustrated player blowing off some steam after suffering through his team’s fourth loss in five games and being unhappy he wasn’t able to be more involved in trying to turn things around.

What would you rather have — a player who is unhappy because he feels he’s better suited to help his team in the game rather than on the bench or someone just going through the motions and collecting a free paycheck? We already tried the Brandon Lloyd era. How did that work out for us?

So take a deep breath and relax. Come Sunday afternoon all of this will be forgotten (well … until whatever substandard announcing team brings it up every time either Zorn or Portis is on the screen). Just realize that things could have been a whole lot worse. Just look on the other side of the field this weekend at Chad Johnson, who was once so unhappy with his coach that he punched him.

It’s all about perspective, fellas.

Cheers,

– murf.

10Dec

hollywood fabulous

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Okay, we want you to think of which current member of the Washington Redskins would most likely be in a Hollywood movie.

Jason Taylor? Clinton Portis? Chris Cooley? Jason Campbell?

All of those would be solid guesses, and surprisingly, all of those would be incorrect.

The answer? Reserve offensive lineman Jason Fabini, who is known throughout the movie industry as “Doorman #3” thanks to his memorable role in Made, Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn’s 2001 follow-up to Swingers [Editor’s note: one of the best movies ever created].

“It’s the bar scene, when we let Screech and P Diddy into the club,” Fabini said when asked to describe his acting debut. He went on to say he shared the scene with “the guy from the Sopranos with the long hair,” who also goes by Federico Castelluccio.

For those not familiar, the plot for Made is fairly simple – two aspiring boxers, lifelong friends, get involved in a money-laundering scheme through a low-level organized crime group.

At around the 49-minute mark of the movie, Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau arrive at a nightclub. There’s a long line waiting to get in which Vaughn essentially pushes his way through.

“Excuse me, I’m on the list. I’m on the list.”

“Ricky Slade, I’m on the list.”

Of course, he’s not on the list.

When Castelluccio informs them that they’re not on the list, Vaughn and Favreau try to name drop and talk their way into the club. Furio isn’t buying it and things begin to turn ugly when Dustin Diamond shows up and is immediately let in.

“Did you just let Screech in the fucking club,” Vaughn asks and then he tries to steal the list. Things continue to escalate until P Diddy shows up and gets them into the club. If you’re watching the movie, Fabini is in the beginning and end of the scene – standing behind Castelluccio and holding the door open for those who are granted access. It’s only about 45 seconds of screen time total for the 11-year pro, but it’s 45 seconds more than his teammates have.

So how did this all come about?

“A friend of mine who was friends with Vince Vaughn was staying at my place in New York,” said Fabini, who played for the New York Jets at the time. “They told us if we brought a suit, they’d put us in the movie.”

So this was a kind of “right place, right time” kind of thing?

“Yeah,” he said. “Vince called him and said, ‘Hey, I’m in New York’ and he said ‘So am I.’ Vince said, ‘I’m doing a movie, so why don’t you guys come down and be in it.’”

Is this something you’d be up for doing again down the road?

(Laughs). “I wouldn’t go audition for anything,” Fabini said. “Yeah, if the opportunity presented itself and someone offered to throw me in a movie, then yeah. I mean, we did the movie in one night and then all went out the next night. I kind of liked the second part of it better.”

That’s it. That’s how an unheralded lineman lands a role in a Hollywood production (although someone needs to update his IMDB page). Fabini didn’t even get paid for the cameo, but it wasn’t about that for the big guy. As he said, he had more fun drinking with Vaughn and friends than actually being a part of the film. So naturally, we headed straight for the locker room to get his teammates thoughts.

“He was a doorman, that doesn’t count,” said center Casey Rabach, who was clearly familiar with the story and clearly unimpressed with said story.

We would have asked a follow-up question, but Rabach walked off laughing.

“I’ve heard that story many times,” said tackle Jon Jansen.

What do you think of one of your teammates, a fellow offensive lineman no less, landing a role in a movie?

“Good for him,” Jansen said. “I think they need more of us in Hollywood.”

Does he strike you as a Hollywood kind of guy?

(Laughs). “No,” he said. “No he doesn’t, but it takes all kinds to play all parts.”

You said you’ve heard the story more than a few times. What does it take to get him to share the story?

“Just ask him or even make reference to the movie and he’ll be willing to tell you,” Jansen said, still laughing.

If Fabini can do it, can you see anyone else in this locker room branching out and giving acting a try? Would you be up for it?

“Yeah sure,” he said. “I think it would be fun. It depends on the part and depends on what’s going on and how much they’re asking you to do but it would be a lot of fun to throw your hat in the ring and see what you can do.”

Not a lot of people know much about Fabini. What can you tell them about him?

“You know, Jason’s a great guy,” he said. “He’s a lot of fun to be around. He’s a great teammate and he’s always there to help support you with going over plays or talking about things like that. He’s just a fun guy to have around and a great teammate.”

And while very few people know about Fabini, even less know he’s been in a movie. In fact, outside of the offensive line, it seems no one was aware they were sharing a locker room with greatness.

“Fabini?!? Stop playing,” said fullback Mike Sellers, who said he’s such a movie buff that he goes to the movies at least twice a week. “Was he a bum?”

When informed that his teammate played the part of muscle at a nightclub, Sellers interrupted with “What’s scary about him?”

You don’t find him intimidating at all?

“I find him hairy,” Seller said, still laughing and trying to comprehend a world where Jason Fabini is an actor. “But intimidating? No, not at all.”

If we asked you to name 10 guys in the Redskins locker room who could be in a Hollywood movie, would Jason Fabini be anywhere near your list?

“That would be a hell no,” Sellers said.

So what you’re saying is they cast the wrong guy for the part?

“I mean, he’d play a good bum,” he said.

At this point Sellers stopped guard Pete Kendall, who happened to be walking by.

“Don’t you think Fabini would play a good bum in a movie,” Sellers asked his unsuspecting teammate. Kendall, wanting nothing to do with our conversation, shook his head and kept walking far, far away. Just then, Fabini walked by.

“Hey Fab, come here man,” Sellers said. “You supposed to be some kind of enforcer-type guy?”

Fabini confirmed that he was, in fact, some kind of enforcer-type guy.

“I told him you would make a good bum, I didn’t know about enforcer though,” Sellers said, cracking up.

“The haters are coming out,” Fabini said as he walked away laughing.

“That’s cool though,” Sellers said. I don’t know how something like that could fall into his lap, but I’d love to be in a movie. I’d love to make fun of myself in some type of comedy. I can embarrass myself so easy, it’s not even an issue.”

The interview concluded with Sellers informing us that his teammate, from this point on, will hence be referred to as Jason “Hollywood Fabulous” Fabini. So don’t stress if the team fails to make the playoffs this year. They might not make it to the postseason, but at this rate, they’ll be coming soon to a theater near you.

10Dec

nothing but love

(photo by Brian Murphy)

More than 18,000 fans were on hand last week to see the Washington Capitals exciting 5-2 win over the New York Islanders, and now at least two individuals consider themselves Caps fans because of it.

Redskins cornerback Fred Smoot and kick returner Rock Cartwright took in their first hockey game that night and both came away loving what they saw. Much like tight end Chris Cooley and quarterback Jason Campbell before them, they stopped by the Phone Booth to see what the fuss was about and came away with a new appreciation for a sport they knew nothing about.

This week we had a chance to catch up with Cartwright and Smoot to find out exactly how they ended up attending their first professional hockey game and their thoughts on a sport neither had ever given much thought about before last week.

Freddie, what the hell do you know about hockey?

“It’s very fast, very physical and people really need to check out these athletes. They’re serious,” he said.

Be honest, you thought Beyonce was in town, right?

(Laughs). “Nah, [Capitals star Alex] Ovechkin came to a Redskins game, I told him I’m coming to a hockey game,” Smoot said. “I showed up, he winked his eye at me and they won.”

How much did you know about the game and the rules coming in?

“I didn’t know anything and it’s always hard to follow a sport that you don’t know the rules of, but they kind of gave me the breakdown and taught me some of the rules and things. Man, it’s a great sport. I’m going to another game this week.”

And you just so happened to go to the game where the brother got the game winner …

“Brashear got the game winner,” Smoot said excitedly. “The only black guy. You know what, when I came out there I was like ‘What’s he doing out there?’ Hey, they say he’s been a great player for like 12 or 13 years. That just goes to show you how little people actually know about the sport. I like it, man. I’m taking it on head first.”

So are you making an announcement here? Are you becoming a two-sport athlete?

“I don’t want to say that,” Smoot said. “I did realize something though. We’re physical, but they’re very physical too. Very physical.”

Still cracking up from the thought of Smoot trying to lace ‘em up, we headed over to chat with Cartwright. Hey Rock, what do you know about hockey?

“I just had a chance to go out and experience something I hadn’t experienced before and it was pretty nice. I think I have to go back to another game,” he said.

Seriously, did you think the Wizards were in town?

“Nah, I knew the hockey game was going to be played and I wanted to check it out,” Cartwright said. “I had some guys explaining to me what was going on because I didn’t know what was happening at first, but some guys sitting behind me helped out.”

What appeals to you about the sport of hockey?

“Everything,” he said. “It’s pretty amazing. From watching it on TV to watching it live, it’s interesting. The guys are real physical out there. That’s what I liked the most. I didn’t see much of that growing up in Texas, but it was nice. I’ll definitely be going back.”

So if you’re attending the Caps game tonight against the Boston Bruins or Friday night against the Ottawa Senators and you happen to be sitting next to a loquacious cornerback from Mississippi, feel free to lean over and teach Smoot some of the intricacies of professional hockey. The guy loves the sport but still has a lot to learn. Maybe in exchange for your help, Smoot will give you an energy bar, or better yet, invite you out to the Love Boat.

09Dec

family matters

(photos by Brian Murphy)

The story of the night Sunday in Baltimore was clearly safety Ed Reed, who finished with two interceptions and a fumble recovery for a touchdown leading the Ravens to victory over the Washington Redskins, 24-10. But another safety had himself a strong showing too.

LaRon Landry might have been overshadowed by Reed’s highlight reel, but the 24-year-old finished with an interception and a forced fumble on an otherwise forgettable night for the ‘Skins. The first came on a bad throw by Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco, while the later was a due to a devastating hit on the artist formerly known as Willis McGahee.

It took Landry 27 career games to get his first regular-season interception (he had two picks in the postseason last year), but he’s now got two interceptions in the last three games.

We know you’re not interested in moral victories, but congratulations on the interception. Can you walk us through the play?

“On the pick I just read the quarterback and yup, just went and got it,” Landry said. “I stayed in the middle and did my assignment like I was supposed to. I read my keys and just broke on the ball – made it happen.”

How familiar with this Ravens team are you? Did you get a scouting report on them from your brother?

(Laughs). “Nah, not at all,” he said. “That never happens. You just go out there and play ball. Guys who have brothers in the league, like [Philadelphia running back Brian] Westbrook … I mean, when we play the Eagles, it’s no secret. There’s nothing his brother [Redskins practice squad member Byron Westbrook] can tell us that can help us win the game or anything. Any competitor is not going to do that. I don’t care if he’s your brother or not, you still got to study like everybody else on the team.”

How frustrating was it for you personally when the defense needed a stop but couldn’t get the job done in the fourth quarter?

“It’s very frustrating and heartbreaking,” Landry said. “You’ve got to go back to the drawing board, have a great week of preparation and get ready for the next game.”

How close is this team to turning the corner? It just seems like right now, for whatever reason, things just aren’t clicking.

“It’s a team effort,” he said. “Once we come together and put it into our mind that we can’t be stopped and we can do anything we want to do, then we’ll start winning ball games. I don’t know what the problem is … I mean … each guy needs to give his own individual effort to help the team. Until then, we’re just not going to come out on top.”

From one safety to another, how good is Ed Reed?

“I mean, he’s a great player,” Landry said. “I’ve watched him ever since I was in high school. We’re basically from the same neighborhood. Growing up, he lived like 10 minutes from me. I’m on the west bank, he’s on the east bank. I grew up watching him in high school, at Miami and then with the Ravens. He’s a great player and I’ve always kept up with him. He’s a great player and an elite safety.”

As far as role models go, Landry could do a whole lot worse than taking notes from Ed Reed’s game – especially since the talented safety scores about as often as the Redskins offense these days.

08Dec

ravens playlist

(photo by Brian Murphy)

1. “Broken TV” by Bush

Just 45 seconds into the game, Washington Redskins quarterback Jason Campbell was intercepted by Baltimore Ravens safety Ed Reed. Five plays later, Baltimore took the lead on a LeRon McClain touchdown run.

The ‘Skins second drive was more successful, if only because it didn’t end with a turnover. Instead the team went three and out and punted (which was a dandy 21-yarder by the pitiful Ryan Plackemeier).

The Redskins third drive? It ended after just one play – a fumble by running back Clinton Portis that ended with Reed scooping up the lose ball and taking it 22 yards for a touchdown that effectively ended the competitive portion of the evening. Five minutes into the game it was 14-0 and we wouldn’t have blamed anyone at home for throwing the remote control through the television set or, at a minimum, flipping the channel to something less depressing.

2. “Gone Til November” by Wyclef Jean

Cornerback DeAngelo Hall compared the team to Oscar De La Hoya, who suffered a humbling loss 24 hours earlier. Guard Randy Thomas talked about having his pride hurt. Tackle Chris Samuels wondered if his season was over after suffering a sprained bicep. There were no moral victories or room for sugar coating the situation after the Redskins loss to the Ravens, 24-10.

Any shot this team had at the playoffs ended Sunday night. Sure, the Redskins are still mathematically alive, but realistically this team – the same one that jumped out the gate with an impressive 6-2 start the first half of the season – is done, dropping to 7-6 after losing four out of their last five games.

3. “Everybody Hurts” by REM

Clinton Portis. London Fletcher. Andre Carter. Shawn Springs. Marcus Washington. Cornelius Griffin. Jon Jansen. Chris Samuels. Chris “The Predator” Horton.

Its common knowledge that every player on every team is banged up to some degree 12 games into the season, but this is past the point of absurdity. You simply can’t have this many important players either sidelined or hobbled by injuries and expect to remain competitive. The guys are professionals and are going to give it their all each and every week, but it’s almost like the ‘Skins start each game with no room for error.

It’s so bad that even the opposition feels obligated to weigh in. After blowing past offensive lineman Justin Geisinger, who was in the game after Samuels’ injury, Ravens defensive end Terrell Suggs crushed Campbell for a 12-yard loss and then turned to the Redskins sideline with some words for the coaching staff.

“I actually pointed at Jim Zorn and said, ‘You can’t do this, you’re going to get your quarterback hurt,’” Suggs told Jason la Canfora of the Washington Post after the game. “I was like, ‘I don’t think this guy is supposed to be here. You’ve got a mistake.’”

The worst part is Suggs is right. Nothing against Geisinger, but if he’s in the game, it’s not good for the burgundy and gold.

4. “Tell It Like It Is” by Ludacris

The offense is officially inept. This team has had trouble scoring points all season long, but at least they used to be able to drive up and down the field and rack up yardage. Now, staying on the field for more than a three and out is a choir. Take, for example, the sequence of events in the second quarter, when the team was backed in their own end and facing a third and one. Three penalties later (two false starts and a holding call) it’s suddenly third and 15 with the ‘Skins standing on their own five-yard line. And yet, Campbell completed a 27-yard pass to wide out Santana Moss to keep the drive alive. Apparently they didn’t have a one-yard play for that situation, so they backed up until they had room to run the 15-yard play. At this point it’s just maddening for ‘Skins fans.

The defense played well for much of the night but they couldn’t make the big stop when they needed to. The Ravens went for it on fourth down and easily converted, keeping the drive alive that gave them the 17-0 lead. And even after the ‘Skins battled back to make it 17-10 in the fourth quarter, the defense got humbled by a statement drive – a 12-play, seven-minute game clincher that ensured the Redskins went home empty handed once again. It’s great to see the defense finally getting turnovers, but when they needed to get the opposing team off the field – much like against the Dallas Cowboys a few weeks ago – they simply can’t seal the deal.

And don’t even get us started on the “special” teams. Shaun Suisham used to be a solid kicker, but now he’s a liability. He’s got more misses (nine in 31 attempts) than any other kicker in the league and no one can say with any confidence that he’s capable of making a field goal any time he steps on the field (as evident by his 71 percent accuracy on the season). But at least he’s better than punter Ryan Plackemeier. Seriously, this guy makes us long for rookie punter. Can someone tell the front office Derrick Frost is available? He wasn’t much, but he was better than this.

5. “Numb” by Link Park

Here’s the thing – this team might not win another game this year. We’re not suggesting anyone has quit on head coach Jim Zorn, but it wouldn’t surprise us if between the injuries and everything else this team continues to spiral out of control the final three games of the season. Our advice? Stock the beer fridge. It’s going to be a long and unpleasant ride. Alcohol is great for numbing the pain and is cheaper than therapy.

06Dec

gone but not forgotten

The talented folks over at 93.9 WKYS have put together a tribute for Sean Taylor that would make any Washington Redskins fan proud. EZ Street, Raheem Devaugh, Anwan Glover – aka Slim Charles on The Wire (the best show of all time), Miss Kim, Wale and Jamil “Face” Johnson collaborated to bring you this track titled “Every Given Sunday.” We’d say more, but honestly – they’re the lyrical masters. So we’ll step aside and let the pros handle the rest.

(Via Mister Irrelevant)

05Dec

no place like home

(courtesy photos)

First there was the embarrassing loss to the previously winless St. Louis Rams. Then, the back-to-back beatdowns at the hands of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Dallas Cowboys on primetime television. Most recently, there was the uninspired effort against the New York Giants on a day meant to honor a fallen teammate.

Any way you spin it, one thing is certain when discussing the Washington Redskins – they have absolutely no home-field advantage. How else can you explain a 4-1 record on the road this season and a 3-4 record at home?

“You know, I don’t know,” said fullback Mike Sellers, who was clearly stumped. “I didn’t even think about that until you brought it up to be honest with you. Hmmm … I don’t know.”

Do you guys stay in better hotels on the road? Are you happy to get away from your family for a couple days? Seriously, what’s going on?

“Mr. Snyder takes great care of us period, so being on the road doesn’t really matter,” Seller said. “I really don’t know what it is. I really, honestly couldn’t answer that.”

We let Big Mike off the hook and headed elsewhere in search of answers.

“We just seem to play a little bit better on the road,” said running back Rock Cartwright. “I don’t know why. That’s just the way it is. You’re supposed to be better at home and worse on the road, but it’s vice versa for us. Hopefully we can continue to win games on the road and get one back at home at the end of the season.”

Does anyone in this locker room have any idea why the Redskins do better away from home?

“I don’t know. It just kind of seems to be working out like that,” said linebacker Marcus Washington. “Some people seem to think that at home you have more of an advantage, but I guess we’re trying to prove that theory wrong.”

Sadly, Marcus is on to something there. With one home game left to play this season, here’s the Redskins record at FedEx Field over the last five years:

2008: 3-4
2007: 5-3
2006: 3-5
2005: 6-2
2004: 3-5

Total: 20-19

That’s right, the ‘Skins have gone just 20-19 at home over the last half decade. Basically, if you score tickets to a game at FedEx Field, it’s a coin toss whether the home team wins or not.

Are the fans to blame? We know far too many of them sold their tickets to Steelers fans, but has it affected the players on the field?

“I think the fans play off of us,” Washington said. “If we’re out there rocking and socking, then they can’t help but get into it.”

Okay, so it’s not on us. As players, do you have to have a different mentality for road games, as opposed to when you’re at home?

“Pretty much, it’s all odds against you and it’s a challenge because you know everyone is rooting against you,” said wide receiver Devin Thomas of playing on the road. “It’s kind of fun. You’re kind of like the bad guy. In that adverse environment, you’ve really got to step up and it feels really good when you do something to quiet their crowd.”

So what you’re basically saying is you need the home crowd to turn on you guys …

(Laughs). “No, not at all,” Thomas said. “You know, we get so much support at home and it’s disappointing that we haven’t been winning at home.”

Meanwhile, on the other side of the spectrum, we’ve got the Washington Capitals, who are 10-1-1 at home this season. If that’s not impressive enough, check this out. Since Bruce Boudreau became the coach last November, the Capitals have gone an impressive 31-9-4 at the Verizon Center. The man took over an underachieving Caps team that started the season winning just two out of nine home games and almost over night transformed the Phone Booth into a place opposing teams hate to visit.

“We want teams to come in and almost feel like they’re down a goal,” said Capitals forward Brooks Laich of playing at the Verizon Center.

“It’s been fantastic here,” Laich said. “If you go back to last season, what the fans started doing, we started winning consistently and we’ve got this thing around here called ‘Rock the Red.’ We just live off the fans. They’ve come out and have supported us. They’re very passionate and enthusiastic fans. Everyone talks about the Canadian cities and those are the real hockey towns, well Washington is turning into one of them.”

So here’s the million-dollar question – how can we get the Redskins to where the Capitals are? What do we have to do to see the ‘Skins become as dominant at home as the Caps?

Best as we can tell, there are three choices. One, hire Bruce Boudreau. That’s probably not an option right now. We’re fairly certain his current employer wouldn’t approve. Second, learn to play on ice. While quarterback Jason Campbell is clearly willing to give it a try (and for comedic purposes it would be wildly entertaining), that’s probably not doable either. Which leaves us with door number three – move the team back to D.C.

The Caps have won 31 of their last 44 home games while playing in D.C. The ‘Skins have won just 20 of their last 39 games in Maryland. The numbers speak for themselves – move the Redskins back to Washington and all will be well again.

Besides, the team won three Super Bowls playing in D.C. How many have they won since they left?

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