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(photo by Brian Murphy)

Dear Redskins fans,

We’re sorry to disappoint you, but the entire Clinton Portis-Jim Zorn issue that’s got your panties in a bunch? Yeah, it’s nothing. You’re not going to want to hear us, but that’s the truth.

How often has your boss pissed you off by doing something you didn’t agree with? It happens all the time in every workplace in America. The only reason this is newsworthy is because one of the parties involved failed to keep things in house. But really, that’s just Portis. He’s always been an emotional guy who says whatever is on his mind. Remember before the season started when quotes came out about Portis wishing he could run behind a better offensive line? Yeah, those comments were forgotten as soon as C.P. reeled off five-straight 120-yard performances.

This issue involving the team’s best offensive player and the rookie head coach is already dead and gone as far as those who work at Redskins Park are concerned. We had a chance to talk to Portis’ teammates Wednesday to gauge their reaction on all the drama and can tell you with 100 percent certainty that the rest of the locker room wasn’t even fazed by this.

“That’s just Clinton,” said center Casey Rabach, who’s been around the star running back long enough to know he marches to the beat of a different drum.

When asked for his thoughts on it all, defensive tackle Anthony Montgomery admitted that he and his wife jumped on the computer to see what all the fuss was about. They expected to hear all of this scandalous and juicy drama from Portis on the John Thompson Show, but were disappointed.

“My wife fell asleep while we were listening to it,” Montgomery admitted.

If this is a major issue that will surely rip apart an entire locker room, then why is Mama Montgomery dozing off? And why did Monty, who has to spend the majority of his time in this supposed hostile-work environment, turn it off before he even finished the entire interview? Because it was a bigger deal to the media members who need to sell newspapers or get hits on websites than it was to the people who actually reside at Redskins Park.

Two things get D.C. truly fired up – a quarterback controversy and a big-time scandal. Folks thought that Portis versus Zorn was surely going to fit in the later category, but this ain’t it. There was plenty of hype, but truth be told Portis versus Brian Mitchell was more exciting than this. At least those guys were going back and forth, letting each other have it. This was just one frustrated player blowing off some steam after suffering through his team’s fourth loss in five games and being unhappy he wasn’t able to be more involved in trying to turn things around.

What would you rather have — a player who is unhappy because he feels he’s better suited to help his team in the game rather than on the bench or someone just going through the motions and collecting a free paycheck? We already tried the Brandon Lloyd era. How did that work out for us?

So take a deep breath and relax. Come Sunday afternoon all of this will be forgotten (well … until whatever substandard announcing team brings it up every time either Zorn or Portis is on the screen). Just realize that things could have been a whole lot worse. Just look on the other side of the field this weekend at Chad Johnson, who was once so unhappy with his coach that he punched him.

It’s all about perspective, fellas.

Cheers,

– murf.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Okay, we want you to think of which current member of the Washington Redskins would most likely be in a Hollywood movie.

Jason Taylor? Clinton Portis? Chris Cooley? Jason Campbell?

All of those would be solid guesses, and surprisingly, all of those would be incorrect.

The answer? Reserve offensive lineman Jason Fabini, who is known throughout the movie industry as “Doorman #3” thanks to his memorable role in Made, Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn’s 2001 follow-up to Swingers [Editor’s note: one of the best movies ever created].

“It’s the bar scene, when we let Screech and P Diddy into the club,” Fabini said when asked to describe his acting debut. He went on to say he shared the scene with “the guy from the Sopranos with the long hair,” who also goes by Federico Castelluccio.

For those not familiar, the plot for Made is fairly simple – two aspiring boxers, lifelong friends, get involved in a money-laundering scheme through a low-level organized crime group.

At around the 49-minute mark of the movie, Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau arrive at a nightclub. There’s a long line waiting to get in which Vaughn essentially pushes his way through.

“Excuse me, I’m on the list. I’m on the list.”

“Ricky Slade, I’m on the list.”

Of course, he’s not on the list.

When Castelluccio informs them that they’re not on the list, Vaughn and Favreau try to name drop and talk their way into the club. Furio isn’t buying it and things begin to turn ugly when Dustin Diamond shows up and is immediately let in.

“Did you just let Screech in the fucking club,” Vaughn asks and then he tries to steal the list. Things continue to escalate until P Diddy shows up and gets them into the club. If you’re watching the movie, Fabini is in the beginning and end of the scene – standing behind Castelluccio and holding the door open for those who are granted access. It’s only about 45 seconds of screen time total for the 11-year pro, but it’s 45 seconds more than his teammates have.

So how did this all come about?

“A friend of mine who was friends with Vince Vaughn was staying at my place in New York,” said Fabini, who played for the New York Jets at the time. “They told us if we brought a suit, they’d put us in the movie.”

So this was a kind of “right place, right time” kind of thing?

“Yeah,” he said. “Vince called him and said, ‘Hey, I’m in New York’ and he said ‘So am I.’ Vince said, ‘I’m doing a movie, so why don’t you guys come down and be in it.’”

Is this something you’d be up for doing again down the road?

(Laughs). “I wouldn’t go audition for anything,” Fabini said. “Yeah, if the opportunity presented itself and someone offered to throw me in a movie, then yeah. I mean, we did the movie in one night and then all went out the next night. I kind of liked the second part of it better.”

That’s it. That’s how an unheralded lineman lands a role in a Hollywood production (although someone needs to update his IMDB page). Fabini didn’t even get paid for the cameo, but it wasn’t about that for the big guy. As he said, he had more fun drinking with Vaughn and friends than actually being a part of the film. So naturally, we headed straight for the locker room to get his teammates thoughts.

“He was a doorman, that doesn’t count,” said center Casey Rabach, who was clearly familiar with the story and clearly unimpressed with said story.

We would have asked a follow-up question, but Rabach walked off laughing.

“I’ve heard that story many times,” said tackle Jon Jansen.

What do you think of one of your teammates, a fellow offensive lineman no less, landing a role in a movie?

“Good for him,” Jansen said. “I think they need more of us in Hollywood.”

Does he strike you as a Hollywood kind of guy?

(Laughs). “No,” he said. “No he doesn’t, but it takes all kinds to play all parts.”

You said you’ve heard the story more than a few times. What does it take to get him to share the story?

“Just ask him or even make reference to the movie and he’ll be willing to tell you,” Jansen said, still laughing.

If Fabini can do it, can you see anyone else in this locker room branching out and giving acting a try? Would you be up for it?

“Yeah sure,” he said. “I think it would be fun. It depends on the part and depends on what’s going on and how much they’re asking you to do but it would be a lot of fun to throw your hat in the ring and see what you can do.”

Not a lot of people know much about Fabini. What can you tell them about him?

“You know, Jason’s a great guy,” he said. “He’s a lot of fun to be around. He’s a great teammate and he’s always there to help support you with going over plays or talking about things like that. He’s just a fun guy to have around and a great teammate.”

And while very few people know about Fabini, even less know he’s been in a movie. In fact, outside of the offensive line, it seems no one was aware they were sharing a locker room with greatness.

“Fabini?!? Stop playing,” said fullback Mike Sellers, who said he’s such a movie buff that he goes to the movies at least twice a week. “Was he a bum?”

When informed that his teammate played the part of muscle at a nightclub, Sellers interrupted with “What’s scary about him?”

You don’t find him intimidating at all?

“I find him hairy,” Seller said, still laughing and trying to comprehend a world where Jason Fabini is an actor. “But intimidating? No, not at all.”

If we asked you to name 10 guys in the Redskins locker room who could be in a Hollywood movie, would Jason Fabini be anywhere near your list?

“That would be a hell no,” Sellers said.

So what you’re saying is they cast the wrong guy for the part?

“I mean, he’d play a good bum,” he said.

At this point Sellers stopped guard Pete Kendall, who happened to be walking by.

“Don’t you think Fabini would play a good bum in a movie,” Sellers asked his unsuspecting teammate. Kendall, wanting nothing to do with our conversation, shook his head and kept walking far, far away. Just then, Fabini walked by.

“Hey Fab, come here man,” Sellers said. “You supposed to be some kind of enforcer-type guy?”

Fabini confirmed that he was, in fact, some kind of enforcer-type guy.

“I told him you would make a good bum, I didn’t know about enforcer though,” Sellers said, cracking up.

“The haters are coming out,” Fabini said as he walked away laughing.

“That’s cool though,” Sellers said. I don’t know how something like that could fall into his lap, but I’d love to be in a movie. I’d love to make fun of myself in some type of comedy. I can embarrass myself so easy, it’s not even an issue.”

The interview concluded with Sellers informing us that his teammate, from this point on, will hence be referred to as Jason “Hollywood Fabulous” Fabini. So don’t stress if the team fails to make the playoffs this year. They might not make it to the postseason, but at this rate, they’ll be coming soon to a theater near you.

(photos by Brian Murphy)

The story of the night Sunday in Baltimore was clearly safety Ed Reed, who finished with two interceptions and a fumble recovery for a touchdown leading the Ravens to victory over the Washington Redskins, 24-10. But another safety had himself a strong showing too.

LaRon Landry might have been overshadowed by Reed’s highlight reel, but the 24-year-old finished with an interception and a forced fumble on an otherwise forgettable night for the ‘Skins. The first came on a bad throw by Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco, while the later was a due to a devastating hit on the artist formerly known as Willis McGahee.

It took Landry 27 career games to get his first regular-season interception (he had two picks in the postseason last year), but he’s now got two interceptions in the last three games.

We know you’re not interested in moral victories, but congratulations on the interception. Can you walk us through the play?

“On the pick I just read the quarterback and yup, just went and got it,” Landry said. “I stayed in the middle and did my assignment like I was supposed to. I read my keys and just broke on the ball – made it happen.”

How familiar with this Ravens team are you? Did you get a scouting report on them from your brother?

(Laughs). “Nah, not at all,” he said. “That never happens. You just go out there and play ball. Guys who have brothers in the league, like [Philadelphia running back Brian] Westbrook … I mean, when we play the Eagles, it’s no secret. There’s nothing his brother [Redskins practice squad member Byron Westbrook] can tell us that can help us win the game or anything. Any competitor is not going to do that. I don’t care if he’s your brother or not, you still got to study like everybody else on the team.”

How frustrating was it for you personally when the defense needed a stop but couldn’t get the job done in the fourth quarter?

“It’s very frustrating and heartbreaking,” Landry said. “You’ve got to go back to the drawing board, have a great week of preparation and get ready for the next game.”

How close is this team to turning the corner? It just seems like right now, for whatever reason, things just aren’t clicking.

“It’s a team effort,” he said. “Once we come together and put it into our mind that we can’t be stopped and we can do anything we want to do, then we’ll start winning ball games. I don’t know what the problem is … I mean … each guy needs to give his own individual effort to help the team. Until then, we’re just not going to come out on top.”

From one safety to another, how good is Ed Reed?

“I mean, he’s a great player,” Landry said. “I’ve watched him ever since I was in high school. We’re basically from the same neighborhood. Growing up, he lived like 10 minutes from me. I’m on the west bank, he’s on the east bank. I grew up watching him in high school, at Miami and then with the Ravens. He’s a great player and I’ve always kept up with him. He’s a great player and an elite safety.”

As far as role models go, Landry could do a whole lot worse than taking notes from Ed Reed’s game – especially since the talented safety scores about as often as the Redskins offense these days.

The talented folks over at 93.9 WKYS have put together a tribute for Sean Taylor that would make any Washington Redskins fan proud. EZ Street, Raheem Devaugh, Anwan Glover – aka Slim Charles on The Wire (the best show of all time), Miss Kim, Wale and Jamil “Face” Johnson collaborated to bring you this track titled “Every Given Sunday.” We’d say more, but honestly – they’re the lyrical masters. So we’ll step aside and let the pros handle the rest.

(Via Mister Irrelevant)