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06Sep

giants playlist

(photo by Brian Murphy)

As regulars have learned by now, we do our post-game wrap-up a little bit differently. Instead of attempting to break down the X’s and O’s, we simply stick to something we know – music. With that in mind, here are five songs that sum up the Washington Redskins 16-7 season-opening loss to the New York Giants.

1. “Hard Times” by Ray Charles.

“If Eli Manning can put a move on you in the open field, then you know its going to be a long night.”

Moments after the game ended, a buddy and I were looking back over the Redskins’ less-than-stellar performance. We went through a laundry list of reasons why the game ended the way it did – with the Giants undefeated and the ‘Skins anything but. But even after we identified a dozen things that stuck out in our mind, nothing seemed to hit home more than the above quote. If Eli is making linebackers miss and rushing for a touchdown, then you know it’s not your night.

This game will be remembered by both teams for very different reasons. The New York Giants will fondly remember this as the night they began their quest to defend their third Super Bowl championship. The Redskins, on the other hand, will remember this as the night things went so badly that a player got hurt during the coin toss. Seriously, if you can’t make it through the coin toss injury free, then this very well might be a long season.

2. “Time Is One My Side” by The Rolling Stones.

Dear rookie head coach Jim Zorn,

If you’re going to continue to win over the hearts and minds of the faithful Redskins fans, then we’re going to have to ask that you show a little sense of urgency when it comes to clock management and play calling at the end of the game. Hugs,

Homer.

No one would dispute that running back Clinton Portis is the Redskins biggest offensive weapon, but to continually hand it off when time is running out in the fourth quarter and you’re down by two scores is basically a sign that you’re going through the motions and ready to call it a night. Especially when the Giants are stacking eight men in the box all night long because they have no reason to respect the passing game.

Honestly, it’s impossible to know if the coaching staff had a lack of faith in the quarterback, the offensive line or both, but the play calling was uninspired all night long. It looked like those underneath patterns were there all night long, but for one reason or another, the Redskins never really took advantage.

3. “99 Problems” by Jay-Z.

“Run and stop the run.”

That’s what offensive lineman Randy Thomas told me in the locker room after the 16-7 loss, when asked what the ‘Skins’ gameplan was heading into the season opener. If that was the focal point, it’s safe to say things aren’t where they want them to be. Both the offensive and defensive lines looked overmatch, getting pushed around at the point of attack on both sides of the ball. So much so that at one point in the second quarter, the Giants had 16 points while the Redskins had 16 yards of offense. While both lines seemed to improve as the game went on, especially the defensive line, there’s still enough on the game film to hurt feelings during position meetings in the coming days.

4. “A Good Idea At The Time” by OK Go.

LaRon Landry, this one’s for you. I’m sure when you lined up Giants running back Brandon Jacobs you were confident that you’d put him on his backside with minimal effort. You are, after all, a guy who is never short on confidence. As we all know, that’s not exactly how things played out. You got hit with what the Madden generation would call the “truck stick,” as Jacobs rolled over you and the only thing that was missing was Chris Tucker standing over you letting you know you got knocked the … well … you know the rest.

5. “Move Bitch” by Ludacris.

Giants defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka is a bright guy. Like a well-versed politician, he went on the offensive as soon as the game ended – accusing Redskins tackle Chris Samuels of a dirty hit. Why? To avoid talking about getting destroyed by Clinton Portis. He got decleated, as the kids call it these days, and didn’t want anyone to bring it up and ruin an otherwise enjoyable night for him. Sorry Kiwanuka. We’re not forgetting the hit of the night, so this one’s for you.

29Aug

jaguars playlist

(photo by Brian Murphy)

The fifth and final preseason game is in the books, which means it’s time for another installment of Homer McFanboy’s Redskins playlist. As always, here are five songs inspired by the Redskins most recent game.

1. “I’m In Love With A Stripper” by T-Pain.

Let’s start with a little back story. Redskins defensive coordinator Greg Blache doesn’t talk much, but when he does, you’d be wise to listen. Otherwise you just might miss a highly enjoyable quote like this — “Rookies are fine and dandy, and I’m glad to see them progressing,” said Blache. “But I don’t fall in love with rookies. You’re better to fall in love with a stripper than a rookie, because they’ll break your heart. They really will. We will give them some time and let them prove themselves if they are worthy of it.”

Blache might have made that comment a couple weeks ago, but it definitely applied Thursday night. Rookie wide out Devin Thomas earned the ire of head coach Jim Zorn for his play against the Jaguars, with the coaching specifically mentioning the Jason Campbell interception and a catch Thomas made on third down, where he failed to get the first down. On top of that, fellow rookie receiver Malcolm Kelly was AWOL after warm-ups, when he apparently aggravated the knee injury that has sidelined him all preseason. So when it comes to rookies (and possibly even strippers), it’s safe to say Blache speaks from experience.

2. “Wish You Were Here” by Wyclef.

This modern take on one of the best songs ever goes out to Gregg Williams, who looked completely out of place sporting Jaguars colors at FedEx Field last night. When I saw former ‘Skins safety Pierson Prioleau, who followed Williams to Jacksonville this past offseason, I said “You just don’t look right in those colors, man.” He laughed and said most everyone he talked to told him the same thing. Nothing against Jim Zorn, who may very well have some bright days ahead of him as a head coach, but this should be Gregg Williams’ team. I know it, you know it, and the players damn sure believe it.

3. “Asshole” by Denis Leary.

To the bushleague “fans” in attendance last night at FedEx Field who felt it was appropriate to start “the wave” during the fourth quarter when the hometown offense had the ball.

I understand that the game was not the most exciting NFL game of all time and that the Redskins looked pitiful for large stretches. I also understand that it’s the preseason and the game was on a weeknight, so a lot of the true Redskins fans opted to sell the tickets and save their energy for games that actually matter. But anyone who knows me knows by now that I’d ban “the wave” and gladly throw out anyone caught doing it at a sporting event. That’s no secret. So to see this be the way locals fans chose to carry themselves while spotlighted on a national broadcast … well … let’s just say I died a little inside.

4. “Scenario” by Tribe Called Quest.

To my 22 fallen homies, who won’t be on the team this time next week. When breaking down the roster, one could make a case for guys like linebacker Alfred Fincher, running back Marcus Mason or wide out Billy McMullen to make the 53-man roster. But at the end of the day, we have no idea how the scenario will unfold and which route the front office will decide to go.

5. “My Hero” by Foo Fighters.

To tight end Chris Cooley, for kindly stepping up and helping Chief Zee recovering his missing tomahawk. It’s funny that only a few hours after Cooley posts on his blog that whoever returns the tomahawk will earn themselves a free autographed jersey, some drunk guy who walked off with it suddenly grows a conscience and returns the stolen merchandise. Either way, thanks to Captain Chaos for restoring order in the universe.

25Aug

panthers playlist

Momma told me there’d be days like this. Doesn’t make it any easier to stomach though. Here’s this week’s playlist, inspired by the Washington Redskins-Carolina Panthers “game.”

1. “Rag Doll” by Aerosmith.

This goes out to quarterback Jason Campbell, who was sacked four times in one half of action. Sure, the scouting report on Campbell says he holds the ball too long at times, but if we’re being honest here, the offensive line looked overmatched pretty much from the coin toss on.

2. “Communication Breakdown” by Led Zeppelin.

Clearly this song was playing on a continuous loop whenever the ‘Skins defense took the field Saturday night. Nothing was working, whether the starters or backups were in, as evident by the 228 yards rushing they allowed on the night. Hopefully, every time they close their eyes and try to go to sleep this week the defensive players will be treated to visions of the 60-yard run by Panthers running back DeAngelo Williams and the 50-yard score by Daily Show host Jon Stewart.

3. “Ain’t That A Kick In The Head” by Dean Martin.

Adding insult to injury (or maybe in this case it’s injury to insult) defensive end Jason Taylor managed to sprain his knee after getting tangled up in one of the few plays the ‘Skins defense stopped the Panthers ground game. Anyone watching not only McDreamy, but his teammates’ reactions thought this injury was a bad one. Thankfully, it looks like Taylor will only be out two weeks.

4. “If I Ruled The World” by Nas.

This classic goes out to Redskins punter Derrick Frost, who unleashed a 64-yard punt when forced into action in his own endzone. There wasn’t much to be happy about in Carolina, so this will have to serve as the closest thing to a highlight the Redskins can walk away with. And as the title suggests, if I ruled the world, Frosty would be the ‘Skins punter this season.

5. “Low” by Flo Rida.

This one goes out to Redskins fan Tom Cruise. Yes, I know he was at last week’s Jets game and not in Carolina, but I needed a distraction after watching my favorite football team get their lunch money taken, so I took the wife out to see Tropic Thunder. Not only was the movie better than either of us could have reasonably expected, but Cruise stole the show. Fellow ‘Skins fan Matthew McConaughey is also enjoyable in the movie, and come to think of it, we even got a Kid Rock music video featuring diehard Redskins fan Dale Earnhardt Jr. before the movie started. So I guess Redskins Nation had a stronger showing than the team this weekend. Let’s not make a habit of that, fellas.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

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