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Category : note to self

why your team won’t win in 2011

(photo by Brian Murphy) Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the eighth-annual “Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl” column. So head to Las Vegas and put money on it – this is why your favorite football franchise won’t get it done this year. Arizona Cardinals – For his career, Kevin Kolb is 3-4 with 11 touchdowns and 21 turnovers (14 interceptions and seven fumbles). In Arizona, that translates into a five-year, $63 million contract. Atlanta Falcons – The […]

note: why your team won’t win 2010

(photo by Brian Murphy) Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the seventh-annual “Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl” column. So head to Las Vegas and put money on it – this is why your favorite football franchise won’t get it done this year. Arizona Cardinals – Okay, wait – your gameplan was to let Anquan Boldin walk away and then make Matt Leinart your starting quarterback? That’s your idea of putting your best foot forward?!? Come on, son. […]

note: why your team won’t win 2009

photo by Brian Murphy Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the sixth-annual “Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl” column. So head to Las Vegas and put money on it – this is why your favorite football franchise won’t get it done this year. Arizona Cardinals – I don’t care if he bagged groceries for Jesus Christ himself, Kurt Warner will not stay healthy for the entire 2009 season. Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan, Michael Turner and friends snuck […]

note: tiger is back

(photo by Brian Murphy) Unless the Orlando Magic can return to the formula that has worked thus far, the Los Angeles Lakers will be capturing yet another NBA championship. And when they do, magically Kobe Bryant will be looked at as a wonderful teammate/person/competitor/etc. because he finally earned a ring without Shaquille O’Neal on the roster. Yawn. The Detroit Red Wings are set to win their second straight Stanley Cup championship this Friday night, besting the Pittsburgh Penguins for a […]

note: that’s how you do it

(courtesy photo) While there is much to like about the summer (long days, better weather and the prospect of exotic vacations) there is one obvious drawback to this time of year – there’s never anything worth watching on TV. Because the networks conspire to force folks outside to be productive or some such nonsense (those bastards), we’re stuck with reruns and reality crap that I wouldn’t force my enemies to suffer through. The reason I bring this up in a […]

note: not good times

(courtesy photo) In technical terms, yesterday sucked balls. Any D.C. sports fan knows exactly where I’m coming from, but for the benefit of the rest of the class, here’s a recap of the series of nut shots that’s given us more than enough reason to put a bag of frozen vegetables on our collective beanbag as we attempt to recover from a painful Wednesday. For starters, the one team that consistently wins in this town, the Washington Capitals, was not […]

note: damn the plan, warren

(AP photo) This past weekend, Washington Nationals outfielder Elijah Dukes was fined $500 and benched for being late to a game against the Florida Marlins. Nats acting general manager Mike Rizzo and (acting) manager Manny Acta opted to fine and bench Dukes because the controversial outfielder was late and his excuse was not a team-sponsored event. They even went as far as to warn Dukes that if he was tardy again, he could be demoted to the minor leagues. Sounds […]