caption this 25: angry coach edition

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, it’s time for another round of “caption this.”

The game is fairly simple, as you hopefully know by now. I supply the photo and you bring the witty reader-submitted captions. You might not win any cool prizes, but you’ll be formally recognized for being better than your peers and will get some love here on the blog.

Here’s my humble offering for this photo to help get folks started:

“What do you mean the Dish Network doesn’t have AMC? How am I gonna catch up on Breaking Bad?!?”

Think you can do better? Leave a comment below with your best caption.

[Editor’s note: The winner is brian with a caption of, “A jelly donut!” Thanks to everyone for playing along.]

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27 Responses

  1. Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf?! Hey, Ma! The meatloaf! We want it now! The meatloaf! What is she doing? I never know what she is doing back there.

  2. Todays National Anthem will be sung by Mr. Michael Edward Shanahan………….

    “O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!”

  3. *looks up at scores/stats from around the league*

    “Chris f*ckin’ Johnson! I take this “top-tier” talent in the first round and he gets me 11 yards on four carries?!”

  4. “Get your friggin hand away from there you meaningless ball-man or I will rip out your eye balls and skull f**k you! That is my ass!”

  5. Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Jerry Jones, my enemy’s boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?

  6. Because I’m a copy cat…And this popped on my head.

    I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It’s a depression. Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel’s worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the street, and there’s nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there’s no end to it.

    We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. And we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be!

    We all know things are bad — worse than bad — they’re crazy.

    It’s like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don’t go out any more. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we’re living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, “Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials, and I won’t say anything. Just leave us alone.”

    Well, I’m not going to leave you alone.

    I want you to get mad!

    I don’t want you to protest. I don’t want you to riot. I don’t want you to write to your Congressman, because I wouldn’t know what to tell you to write. I don’t know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street.

    All I know is that first, you’ve got to get mad.

    You’ve gotta say, “I’m a human being, goddammit! My life has value!”

    So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell,

  7. “I’ll answer the question. You want answers, Mr. Synder. I’ll give you answers. But be careful, because you can’t handle the truth. And the truth is, Mr. Synder, that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you saves money. You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to you. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to…..”

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