(photo by Brian Murphy)

The fifth and final preseason game is in the books, which means it’s time for another installment of Homer McFanboy’s Redskins playlist. As always, here are five songs inspired by the Redskins most recent game.

1. “I’m In Love With A Stripper” by T-Pain.

Let’s start with a little back story. Redskins defensive coordinator Greg Blache doesn’t talk much, but when he does, you’d be wise to listen. Otherwise you just might miss a highly enjoyable quote like this — “Rookies are fine and dandy, and I’m glad to see them progressing,” said Blache. “But I don’t fall in love with rookies. You’re better to fall in love with a stripper than a rookie, because they’ll break your heart. They really will. We will give them some time and let them prove themselves if they are worthy of it.”

Blache might have made that comment a couple weeks ago, but it definitely applied Thursday night. Rookie wide out Devin Thomas earned the ire of head coach Jim Zorn for his play against the Jaguars, with the coaching specifically mentioning the Jason Campbell interception and a catch Thomas made on third down, where he failed to get the first down. On top of that, fellow rookie receiver Malcolm Kelly was AWOL after warm-ups, when he apparently aggravated the knee injury that has sidelined him all preseason. So when it comes to rookies (and possibly even strippers), it’s safe to say Blache speaks from experience.

2. “Wish You Were Here” by Wyclef.

This modern take on one of the best songs ever goes out to Gregg Williams, who looked completely out of place sporting Jaguars colors at FedEx Field last night. When I saw former ‘Skins safety Pierson Prioleau, who followed Williams to Jacksonville this past offseason, I said “You just don’t look right in those colors, man.” He laughed and said most everyone he talked to told him the same thing. Nothing against Jim Zorn, who may very well have some bright days ahead of him as a head coach, but this should be Gregg Williams’ team. I know it, you know it, and the players damn sure believe it.

3. “Asshole” by Denis Leary.

To the bushleague “fans” in attendance last night at FedEx Field who felt it was appropriate to start “the wave” during the fourth quarter when the hometown offense had the ball.

I understand that the game was not the most exciting NFL game of all time and that the Redskins looked pitiful for large stretches. I also understand that it’s the preseason and the game was on a weeknight, so a lot of the true Redskins fans opted to sell the tickets and save their energy for games that actually matter. But anyone who knows me knows by now that I’d ban “the wave” and gladly throw out anyone caught doing it at a sporting event. That’s no secret. So to see this be the way locals fans chose to carry themselves while spotlighted on a national broadcast … well … let’s just say I died a little inside.

4. “Scenario” by Tribe Called Quest.

To my 22 fallen homies, who won’t be on the team this time next week. When breaking down the roster, one could make a case for guys like linebacker Alfred Fincher, running back Marcus Mason or wide out Billy McMullen to make the 53-man roster. But at the end of the day, we have no idea how the scenario will unfold and which route the front office will decide to go.

5. “My Hero” by Foo Fighters.

To tight end Chris Cooley, for kindly stepping up and helping Chief Zee recovering his missing tomahawk. It’s funny that only a few hours after Cooley posts on his blog that whoever returns the tomahawk will earn themselves a free autographed jersey, some drunk guy who walked off with it suddenly grows a conscience and returns the stolen merchandise. Either way, thanks to Captain Chaos for restoring order in the universe.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time again. With the preseason nearly complete, it’s time for the fifth annual “Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl” column. Book a flight to Las Vegas immediately and bet the farm – this is why your favorite football franchise won’t get it done this year.

Arizona Cardinals - Matt Leinart can’t beat out Kurt Warner. Kurt Warner can’t beat anyone but Matt Leinart.

Atlanta Falcons - The Falcons named rookie quarterback Matt Ryan their starter, guaranteeing no more than five wins in 2008. Sadly, that would be an improvement over last year’s four-win effort. I’d say more, but I don’t want to sound like I’m picking on the autistic kid.

Baltimore Ravens - Is Kyle Boller still on the Ravens? Nuff’ said.

Buffalo Bills - Oh how tortured Bills fans long for the days of choking in the Super Bowl. Buffalo is going to be so disappointing this season that they’re openly trying to deport themselves to Canada.

Carolina Panthers - Nevermind wide out Steve Smith sucker-punching teammates during practice – how do you expect me to take your franchise seriously when you draft Jon Stewart to play running back?

Chicago Bears - Talk to me when Devin Hester learns to play quarterback too.

Cincinnati Bengals - Other than collect convicted felons, what exactly have the Cincinnati Bengals done well since head coach Marvin Lewis came to town?

Cleveland Browns - Because they’re the Browns.

Dallas Cowboys - Terrell Owens. Pacman Jones. Tank Johnson. It’s nothing short of hysterical that on a team full of assholes and screw-ups the biggest name keeping them from winning a playoff game is Jessica Simpson.

Click here for the full article.

(courtesy photo)

No sense in lying to you, this week’s game isn’t going to be easy for Homer McFanboy. You see, unlike Vinnie Cerrato, I was actually a fan of Gregg Williams and would have loved to have seen him become the next head coach of the Washington Redskins after Joe Gibbs raced back to NASCAR. But we all know that’s not how things played out at Redskins Park.

Jim Zorn was given the job and Williams landed in Jacksonville, where he takes over an already talented defense. With the Jags coming to town Thursday night, it seems I’m not the only person with “Gregg the Genius” on the mind. Jason La Canfora has a nice feature story on the ties that still bind Williams to D.C. If that’s not enough, Dave Elfin spends some time with London Fletcher talking about his old boss.

Once you get your fill of the return of Gregg, head over to Chris Cooley’s blog to help join the band of crime fighters taking on the case of Chief Zee’s missing tomahawk. And a quick note to all you humanitarians, whoever helps find and return the Chief’s prized possession can score a free autographed Cooley jersey for their troubles.

From crime fighting to the truly bizarre, we turn our attention to an entry by the Redskins official blogger, Matt Terl, who shares with us a FedEx Field cake. Three workers from Kristi’s Kakes spent 26 hours creating a replica of Dan Snyder’s least favorite stadium for a bar mitzvah. The least you can do is click the link and check out the photos for yourself.

And finally, a recovering alcoholic named Ned Bitters decides to take aim at your’s truly in his weekly “Overrated” column. I’d quote an excerpt from his tirade, but honestly, none of it is actually suitable for print. Let’s just say he thinks Homer McFanboy goes above and beyond the call of duty to provide Redskins coverage. Or something like that.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Last night on Skinscast, we tackled the topic of which players would still be members of the Washington Redskins once the final cuts are made and we’re down to the 53-man roster. This came after five players – wide receiver Burl Toler, linebacker Matt Sinclair, safety Vernon Fox, defensive tackle Babatunde Oshinowo and defensive end Dorian Smith – were given their walking papers in the first round of cuts.

Admittedly, this was not an easy process and we didn’t all exactly agree on how we thought the scenario would play out. Listed below is, barring injury, our best guess as to who’ll still be around this time next week.

QB: J. Campbell, T. Collins, C. Brennan (3)

Nothing out of the ordinary here.

RB: C. Portis, L. Betts, R. Cartwright, M. Mason (4)

Bottom line – Marcus Mason has been too good this preseason to let go. You’ve got to find a spot for him on the active roster because the second you attempt to stash him away on the practice squad another team will gladly swoop in and steal him away.

FB: M. Sellers (1)

Mike Sellers is that good. No help needed.

TE: C. Cooley, T. Yoder, F. Davis (3)

Honestly, this might be the ‘Skins deepest position on the roster.

WR: S. Moss, A. Randle El, J. Thrash, D. Thomas, M. Kelly (5)

We opted to cut both Anthony Mix and Billy McMullen, but had a harder time letting McMullen go. Really it came down to one roster spot for either McMullen or Marcus Mason, with Mason winning out.

OL: J. Jansen, C. Samuels, R. Thomas, P. Kendall, C. Rabach, S. Heyer, C. Rinehart, J. Fabini, J. Geisinger (9)

Todd Wade loses out here, mostly because he just can’t stay healthy.

DL: J. Taylor, A. Carter, C. Griffin, A. Montgomery, K. Golston, D. Evans, E. James, L. Alexander, R. Jackson, R. Boschetti (10)

This one was tough. I argued that Chris Wilson, who was third on the team in sacks last year, deserves a roster spot more than Boschetti, but was overruled.

LB: L. Fletcher, M. Washington, R. McIntosh, H.B. Blades, K. Campbell, A. Fincher (6)

When Matt Sinclair was waived because of an injury, the door opened for Alfred Fincher to sneak in and earn a spot in the linebacker rotation. Otherwise, not much has changed with this group.

CB: S. Springs, F. Smoot, C. Rogers, L. Torrence, J.T. Tryon (5)

No surprises here.

S: L. Landry, R. Doughty, K. Moore, C. Horton (4)

Take a look at the average age/experience of the Redskins safeties. If Landry misses any significant time due to injury this season, the ‘Skins become painfully thin at safety. That’s why you saw Shawn Springs spending some time at safety during the preseason.

ST: S. Suisham, D. Frost, E. Albright (3)

Derrick Frost, in my humble opinion, has outplayed rookie punter Durant Brooks. His 64-yard punt from his own endzone was better than anything we’ve seen from Brooks since he came to town.

If you think we got it wrong, then feel free to leave a comment or send us an email. And if you’re looking for a time waster today, then go listen to Skinscast.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Momma told me there’d be days like this. Doesn’t make it any easier to stomach though. Here’s this week’s playlist, inspired by the Washington Redskins-Carolina Panthers “game.”

1. “Rag Doll” by Aerosmith.

This goes out to quarterback Jason Campbell, who was sacked four times in one half of action. Sure, the scouting report on Campbell says he holds the ball too long at times, but if we’re being honest here, the offensive line looked overmatched pretty much from the coin toss on.

2. “Communication Breakdown” by Led Zeppelin.

Clearly this song was playing on a continuous loop whenever the ‘Skins defense took the field Saturday night. Nothing was working, whether the starters or backups were in, as evident by the 228 yards rushing they allowed on the night. Hopefully, every time they close their eyes and try to go to sleep this week the defensive players will be treated to visions of the 60-yard run by Panthers running back DeAngelo Williams and the 50-yard score by Daily Show host Jon Stewart.

3. “Ain’t That A Kick In The Head” by Dean Martin.

Adding insult to injury (or maybe in this case it’s injury to insult) defensive end Jason Taylor managed to sprain his knee after getting tangled up in one of the few plays the ‘Skins defense stopped the Panthers ground game. Anyone watching not only McDreamy, but his teammates’ reactions thought this injury was a bad one. Thankfully, it looks like Taylor will only be out two weeks.

4. “If I Ruled The World” by Nas.

This classic goes out to Redskins punter Derrick Frost, who unleashed a 64-yard punt when forced into action in his own endzone. There wasn’t much to be happy about in Carolina, so this will have to serve as the closest thing to a highlight the Redskins can walk away with. And as the title suggests, if I ruled the world, Frosty would be the ‘Skins punter this season.

5. “Low” by Flo Rida.

This one goes out to Redskins fan Tom Cruise. Yes, I know he was at last week’s Jets game and not in Carolina, but I needed a distraction after watching my favorite football team get their lunch money taken, so I took the wife out to see Tropic Thunder. Not only was the movie better than either of us could have reasonably expected, but Cruise stole the show. Fellow ‘Skins fan Matthew McConaughey is also enjoyable in the movie, and come to think of it, we even got a Kid Rock music video featuring diehard Redskins fan Dale Earnhardt Jr. before the movie started. So I guess Redskins Nation had a stronger showing than the team this weekend. Let’s not make a habit of that, fellas.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

(photo by Brian Murphy)

To help celebrate the launching of the new Homer McFanboy website, we’re having a fan-participation contest.

Let’s start with the prize, participants will have the chance to win one Hall of Fame John Riggins McFarlane collectible. Only 3,000 were made and they were available exclusively to those folks who were at the Hall of Fame weekend festivities in Canton, Ohio. I happened to pick one up at the Art Monk-Darrell Green ceremony, and figured I should share the wealth with one lucky Redskins fan. What do they have to do to win? It’s simple – just prove how big of a fan you truly are.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Write a poem (100 words or less) about your favorite current Redskins player. The player has to be on the roster as of this weekend’s Carolina Panthers preseason game, August 23. So if you write about Joe Gibbs, Art Monk or Sean Taylor you’re not going to win. If you write about Daniel Snyder, Larry Michael or your favorite cheerleader you’re out too (although I’d be up for people emailing poems about Larry Michael any day). This is all about the players and why that particular player is your favorite guy on the roster.

Also, here’s a few helpful hints:
- Bonus points will be awarded for funny. That’s pretty self-explanatory.
- Bonus points will be awarded for featuring lesser known Redskins players (meaning a “Might Casey at the Snap” poem about Rabach will do better than 100 words on Clinton Portis playing dress-up).
- Realize that the winner’s entry will be posted on the site. So if you’re sending an entry, you’re giving your consent for us to post it.
- I’m not the only judge. If you don’t win and are mad about it, you should know in advance that I’m going to say I voted for you but was overruled by a panel of literary professionals.

And that’s about it. The contest starts today and runs for one week, so entries must be turned in by noon Friday, August 29th. To enter, just email us here. Thanks, and good luck.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Here’s what Homer is reading today:

• Our thoughts and prayers go out to Joe Bugel and his family after the loss of his daughter Holly, who was 35-years old.
• Chris Cooley informs ‘Skins fans that it’s okay to call Fred Smoot “Fredlacio,” Ryan Boschetti “Greasy Meatball,” and Stephon Heyer a “Wookie.” If that’s not enough to get you to click the link, then I don’t know what is.
• Here’s a blast from the past – an older, but fascinating feature story on former ‘Skins wideout Michael Westbrook.
• In a rare interview, Redskins owner Dan Snyder tells the Wall Street Journal that the only people who had a problem with the Redskins acquiring local radio station WTEM is the Washington Post. “We have a problem in this marketplace with our local newspaper,” he said. “There’s a monopoly. I have no problems saying that.”
• And finally, Corey Masisak of the Washington Times blogs an entertaining tale of running back Clinton Portis messing with his newest teammate, Jason Taylor. “Really I am just trying to figure out how to set him up and take advantage of him, so I am being friends with him now. Once we get into the season, I will stop talking to him and start bullying him around,” Portis said.

(See Corey, was that so hard? Professionals give credit when credit is due. So next time you want to write an article two weeks after you “found” the idea on this blog, feel free to let people know where the story came from. We’ll call it professional courtesy).